30 Funny Out of Office Messages That Actually Work (2026)

Subject: I'll Be Back

"I'll be back." — Arnold Schwarzenegger (and me, on January 23)

Currently on vacation January 15-22. Your email has been received and filed in my memory banks for future processing.

For urgent matters that cannot wait for my return from the future, contact Sarah Connor at sarah@company.com.

Hasta la vista, baby.

I am currently out of office on vacation. I have no access to email and I will not be checking messages.

In the event of an emergency, please contact my assistant Dwight Schrute at dwight@dundermifflin.com. He is Assistant TO THE Regional Manager and takes his duties very seriously.

That's what she said.

— Michael Scott (actually [Your Name])
Returning January 23

Subject: These aren't the emails you're looking for

I'm currently away in a galaxy far, far away (actually just Hawaii) from January 15-22.

Your email has been received, but like Luke's Jedi training, my response will take time.

For urgent matters, use the Force. Or contact Obi-Wan at ben@company.com.

May the Force be with you until my return on January 23.

I'm unplugging from the Matrix (email) from January 15-22.

You can take the red pill and wait for my response when I return on January 23, or take the blue pill and contact my colleague Neo at thomas@company.com.

There is no spoon. But there is an emergency contact: trinity@company.com

Welcome to the real world (my inbox on January 23).

Subject: Platform 9¾ — Currently Away

I have departed for vacation via Platform 9¾ and will be unreachable by owl post (or email) until January 23.

For urgent matters, please contact Hermione Granger at hermione@company.com. She's the brightest witch of her age and will definitely know the answer.

Mischief managed.

I'm out of office from January 15-22, which means I'm doing literally anything other than checking email.

Probably lying on a beach. Possibly eating tacos. Definitely not thinking about work.

I'll respond when I return on January 23, slightly tanned and fully recharged.

For urgent matters, contact Jessica at jessica@company.com. She's far more responsible than I am.

Thanks for your email!

I'm currently on vacation (January 15-22), which is perfect timing because I was definitely going to procrastinate responding to this anyway.

I'll get back to you on January 23. Or maybe the 24th. Possibly the 25th.

For urgent matters that can't wait for my inevitable procrastination, contact Tom at tom@company.com.

I've escaped! 🏃‍♂️

Currently on vacation January 15-22 after realizing I had 847 unread emails and needed professional help.

This auto-reply is email #848. I'm sorry.

Returning January 23 with renewed hope and an empty inbox (wishful thinking).

Urgent? Contact Sara at sara@company.com.

Subject: Out of Office Investigation

This is an automated response. Your email has been received and is currently being investigated.

Clue #1: I am out of office January 15-22
Clue #2: I will not be checking email
Clue #3: I will respond on January 23
Clue #4: For urgent matters, contact Detective Mike at mike@company.com

The case will be solved upon my return. Elementary, my dear sender.

URGENT: I have traveled to the future (January 23) and can confirm that I will respond to your email on that date.

Currently stuck in the time period of January 15-22 with no access to this primitive communication device you call "email."

For matters requiring immediate attention in your current timeline, please contact my temporal liaison Jennifer at jennifer@company.com.

🦸 SUPERHERO ALERT 🦸

I am currently on a secret mission (vacation) from January 15-22 and cannot reveal my location or respond to civilian communications.

In my absence, contact my trusty sidekick Robin at robin@company.com for assistance.

I will return to headquarters on January 23 with renewed superpowers (or at least a good tan).

Justice (and email responses) will be served.

📋 OUT OF OFFICE MENU 📋

Thank you for dining at [Your Name]'s Auto-Reply. Please select from our menu:

APPETIZER: I'm on vacation January 15-22
MAIN COURSE: I will not be checking email
SIDE DISH: I'll respond when I return January 23
DESSERT: For urgent matters, contact alex@company.com

Chef's Special: Patience (it's free and highly recommended)

404 ERROR: Human Not Found

The human you are trying to reach is currently unavailable (January 15-22).

Possible solutions:
• Wait until January 23 for automatic reconnection
• Contact backup server: mike@company.com
• Try again later (recommended)

Error code: VACATION_MODE_ENABLED

🔄 SYSTEM UPDATE IN PROGRESS 🔄

[Your Name] is currently installing critical updates (vacation mode) from January 15-22.

Progress: ▓▓▓▓▓▓░░░░ 60% Complete
Time remaining: Until January 23
Do not interrupt this process.

For technical support during this update, contact our help desk at support@company.com.

System will restart on January 23 with improved performance and reduced stress levels.

🤖 You've reached [Your Name]'s AI Assistant

I'm currently training my neural networks (on a beach) from January 15-22.

Unfortunately, this AI is not sophisticated enough to help you. It can only:
• Tell you I'm on vacation
• Promise to respond on January 23
• Redirect you to my colleague at jessica@company.com

For actual intelligence, please wait for the human to return.

☕ EXTENDED COFFEE BREAK ☕

I'm taking an extended coffee break from January 15-22.

By "coffee break" I mean "vacation."
By "extended" I mean "7 days."
By "break" I mean "I'm not checking email."

I'll be back and fully caffeinated on January 23.

For urgent matters, contact my espresso-dependent colleague Tom at tom@company.com.

🍕 Your email has been received!

Estimated delivery time: January 23
Reason for delay: Driver is on vacation (January 15-22)
Status: Completely normal and not checking email

For immediate delivery, please contact our other driver Mike at mike@company.com.

Sorry for the wait. Unlike pizza, good things come to those who wait for my return.

🐻 HIBERNATION MODE ACTIVATED 🐻

I am currently in hibernation (vacation) from January 15-22.

During this time, I will be:
✓ Sleeping
✓ Not checking email
✓ Dreaming of salmon (or maybe tacos)
✗ Responding to messages

I will emerge from my cave on January 23, well-rested and ready to respond.

For urgent matters, please contact the park ranger: sarah@company.com

🦅 I have migrated south for the winter (January 15-22).

Like all migratory birds, I:
• Cannot check email mid-flight
• Will return to my nest on January 23
• Am following my instincts (to the beach)

While I'm away, please contact my colleague who stayed behind: robin@company.com

See you when the seasons change (January 23)!

I'm on vacation from January 15-22.

For the first time in months, I am:
• Not in a meeting
• Not about to be in a meeting
• Not recovering from a meeting
• Not checking email about meetings

I'll return on January 23, at which point I'll gladly accept your meeting invite. Just kidding. Maybe.

Urgent? Contact Alex at alex@company.com. They love meetings.

🎯 INBOX ZERO ACHIEVED 🎯

Just kidding. I'm on vacation (January 15-22) and haven't checked email since I left.

Current inbox status: Schrödinger's Cat
• It's both empty and full until I return on January 23
• I choose to believe it's empty
• Reality will hit hard on the 23rd

For urgent matters, contact Jennifer at jennifer@company.com. Her inbox is probably more organized than mine.

📧 New Operating Hours:

Monday-Friday: Out of office
Saturday-Sunday: Still out of office
Checking email: Nope
Thinking about work: Also nope

Effective dates: January 15-22
Return to normal dysfunction: January 23

For immediate assistance, please contact our customer service line (Tom) at tom@company.com.

🎵 At first I was afraid, I was petrified
Kept thinking I could never live without my email by my side...

BUT I WILL SURVIVE! 🎵

I'm on vacation January 15-22 proving that I can, in fact, survive without checking email every 5 minutes.

I'll respond when I return on January 23, stronger and more refreshed.

For urgent matters, contact Gloria (Gaynor) at gloria@company.com.

🎸 Just a small-town employee
Living in an inbox worlddddd
Took the midnight plane going anyyyyywhere

Translation: I'm on vacation January 15-22.

Don't stop believin' that I'll respond when I return on January 23.

For urgent matters, contact the band manager: steve@company.com

On vacation now
Your email sits unanswered
Back January twenty-third

(That's 5-7-9 syllables. Close enough to a haiku. I'm on vacation, not poetry class.)

Urgent: mike@company.com

📊 VACATION EQUATION 📊

Vacation days: 7
Emails checked: 0
Return date: January 23
Probability of checking email: 0%
Beach time: ∞

For urgent matters, contact sarah@company.com.

(Show your work for extra credit)

Gone fishing. 🎣

(Jan 15-22)

Back: Jan 23
Urgent: tom@company.com

P.S. I don't actually know how to fish.

🎄 Holiday Status: VERY Merry 🎄

I'm celebrating the holidays from December 23-January 2 by doing absolutely nothing work-related.

Santa's workshop is closed.
The elves are on strike.
Email delivery is delayed until January 3.

For urgent matters, contact Rudolph at rudolph@company.com. His nose is always on.

Happy Holidays! 🎁

🏖️ SUMMER VACATION PROTOCOL 🏖️

Current status: Living my best life (July 1-15)
Email status: Unread
Stress level: 0%
Tan level: Increasing daily
Probability of responding before July 16: Also 0%

For matters that can't wait for my summer glow, contact Alex at alex@company.com.

See you when summer ends (emotionally: never; actually: July 16).

You know that Friday afternoon feeling when you're mentally checked out?

I'm extending that feeling from January 15-22.

Same energy. Same lack of email checking. Just 7 days longer.

I'll return on Monday, January 23 with that dreaded "Monday morning" feeling. But until then, it's all Friday vibes.

Urgent matters: jennifer@company.com

TGIF (Thank Goodness I'm Free until the 23rd)